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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 29, 2007 0:32:36 GMT -5
Immediately a chill settled against his neck. Darkness.
There was something about schools - at night - and darkness that severely creeped Ren out. Possibly because the cramped, cool location was perfect for wandering ghosts, trying to find a haven. They were also easier to see when one's vision was increased beyond the normal level. Ren removed his glasses and placed them in his back pocket, closing the only light source behind him. Enveloped in darkness, Ren allowed himself to function at 40% capacity, his eyes glowed a vivid purple, and the hall was brought up into a semi-lit state, each small light particle picking up inside Ren's eyes. Still creepy, no doubt, even with light.
Ears next. At 20% capacity Ren could hear the faint footsteps of Nikolai brought up to a less straining volume. However, he couldn't be too far ahead... Putting one foot in front of the other, Ren moved soundlessly down the hall, feeling quite good about his stamina thus far. Being so alone... Ren had to commit to concentrate fully on the steps of Nikolai's feet, keeping time with his own, eyes plastered on the horizon. Ren didn't want to see behind him, or off to the side. Blinders on. Listening at such a frequency, different sounds could be heard. Less and less the outside music, and more and more unknown breathing and whispers.
"Hey pretty boy..." a familiar voice hissed from behind, which made Ren's entire chest constrict and burn, craving for a cigarette. Ren kept walking, not looking behind, his attention focused wholly on Nikolai. "I remember when you worked the streets." Ren knew this ghost, his fat body, and horrific obsession with boys, "You're getting older, I see... You were so beautiful at eighteen... So young, and... Weak. Your friend here, that boy you're following... He's beautiful. Much better than you were at that age. Why are you following him; alone. Or better yet, what are you doing to do to him once you catch up, Kohai? Touch him for me? That pretty, thin body..."
"Have you come to plague me?" Ren finally halted, spinning around to come face to face with the ghost, falling in and out of focus while translucent. His words were barely a rough whisper, which was enough for a shout in Ren's ears. He'd made that mistake too many times to not be wary of his own voice. Within an inch of the disgusting ghost, Ren's fierce purple eyes bore down upon it, teeth gritting together under the intense burning of his stomach, chest, and neck. It made him sick. "You've grown so much Kohai... But, I can still see it. The fear. I remember very vividly; do you?"
"Leave this place. You have no ties here," Ren commanded, turning abruptly in order to run down the hall, trying to catch up with Nikolai at all costs. Small bits of the instant message conversation ran through his head... hoping something would make the ghost seem more far away. Truth was, when Ren was younger, there wasn't always a phone call every night. In fact, there were many dry spells. That's where "the corner" came into play. A deserted train station on the edge of town devoted to younger boys of the same occupation. You sat on the tracks and waited until the headlights came over the hill, then you were chosen and got into their wretched cars. Cars that smelt of smoke and rot.
Said ghost frequented the corner. He chose boys differently every time; it was only natural that he should try Ren one unhappy night. Silently they drove to the docks, Ren gravely peering out the window. Get out. Get in the back. Sit on the floor. How are you kid? Make much tonight? Unzipping. I'll give you a pretty penny for this. Sound of springs crunching under his weight. You don't even have to take your clothes off. Just have a good taste. That's good. You're a pretty boy, for a blonde. Ah, that feels great. Are you a rookie kid? You're doing fine. You're a natural. It was the most disgusting act imaginable. Paid for that month's rent, the rest to savings. There's nothing to it.
The sound of a door being shut rescued Ren; the sound echoing through his ears as if it was right next to him. Letting his hearing fall to zero, Ren tracked down the door to the library in a rush. Pushing it open, Ren finally exhaled. Safe. Closing them behind him (even though doors were no use against ghosts), Ren felt at least in Nikolai's presence he would be better. Not alone. Frantic eyes lost their glimmer, as the moonlight pouring in from the window was more than enough light at the moment. Nikolai couldn't have gone too far, Ren considered, removing himself from his position on the door to look around, putting his glasses back on.
Kiyoshi Nikolai. An enigma. From the instant message conversation they had the other night; Ren didn't know quite what to make of him. He was, indeed, fighting it out with his powers; a true pessimist; and a brother... Something about his sister was definitely left to be answered. Then there were the drawings... his immense talent, but lack of enthusiasm. It was as if he was dead and wished no one to disturb his silent suffering. Not to mention he wasn't at the cafeteria the day before, after Ren had spent all night up making treats for him. Of course, something in Ren wasn't surprised.
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Post by Kiyoshi Nikolai on Dec 29, 2007 1:34:16 GMT -5
He was headed for the library now.
And he wasn’t one to be frightened of the dark or the quiet, so he didn’t react at all to the empty hallways or the shadowy figures coming off of the moonlit glow of open windows like his follower was. He just stepped one foot in front of the other, continuing on and over to the library, one hand sliding in his pocket to fidget with the library’s key while the echo of his steps sounded a lot louder now than the catchy tunes from the formal party in the gym. He’d never been afraid of the dark growing up even. Not like his sister or brother had. No, the youth had far worse things to fear than the absence of light. He favored the darkness, really. Not being able to see -anything. Seeing was what frightened him, the images, the visions, the past, the ‘nightmares.’ He could deal with a little of the unknown compared to that.
Stopping suddenly, he turned to his right, one hand going for the knob of the double doors in front of him and the other pulling his key out to open the thing with. The latch gave way and Nik spilled into the rather spacious room with even more of that silence hovering about that he loved, craved. The door shut a little too loudly behind him as he pocketed his key than he would have liked, noting to re-lock the door once he was done or else he’d be in trouble if some stupid ass decided they wanted to rob the place. But, seriously, who’d want to rob this schools books? There wasn’t anything at all that special with them that you couldn’t get from a bookstore or even a quality store. I mean, damn, he even had a better selection/collection of his own.
So why was he here?
Well, it was more of the idea really. Libraries rarely had noise, rarely dealt in anything unnatural and so Nikolai’s abilities were normally quiet in such times. Besides, he need not return to the party lest he glare too heavily on that Hikaru’s back. And get his sister upset again. He’d had more than one ‘overprotective brother’ lectures than he needed to handle, thank you. Moving toward the back of the library, to his favorite booth close to the window and separated from the others by rather tall bookshelves, Nikolai had a peek outside before plopping down into his seat, ruffling his midnight tresses bored-like and eying the shelves for something to pass the time with.
Shortly after he had decided on one and reached for a book way too far in height for him to reach, that he’d swung a chair over to stand on, the door to the library squeaked open noisily and then closed rather sharply again behind someone. Nikolai jumped at the noise, a bit too suddenly to catch his balance and found himself a very unhealthy greeting with the ground for the second time that day. The clatter of his body hitting the ground and the chair being flung over had most likely been heard by the intruder too. Not to mention his instant cursing and grunt of impact. So much for his cat-like grace.
Great. Not only do I have the misfortune of fate dropping me into this clumsy scenario., but now I have to play deer for a very stupid robber. Joy. Let‘s see what else they can throw at me. He was about a few feet away from the door however, so he couldn’t catch sight of whom had come inside. And wasn’t it his stupid luck that he’d decided not to turn on the lights upon entering? No doubt his intruder would enjoy the coat of darkness all the more so than he had. He decided he would make sure the librarian knew to go buy some of those useless ladders for the people unable to be born with unnaturally tall attributes. Turns out they weren’t so useless anymore. I mean, it wasn't like Nik was even all that short. It was stupid to put books up so high. And why did they always have to be the ones you wanted to read the most?
“Hello?” He offered tentively, not removing himself from his disgraceful position on the ground just yet, sure that the whisper of his clothing would set off more alarms to his position than his odd greeting. Well maybe not. But he had better a chance at hiding in his current position than he did of being found out. Not that he'd hide, really. But it was such a bother to have his silence already disturbed.
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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 29, 2007 13:20:04 GMT -5
Ren froze in his tracks as the sudden sound of commotion vibrated against the floor. What was that? It sounded like something falling, light, but audible enough to be heard without using his powers. Perhaps it was ole Marley again? But ghosts weren't tangible. They could manipulate things with energy, however Ren wasn't getting that sick feeling in his throat whenever ghosts were about. Standing completely still in the center of the shadowy library, he strained for a moment, muscles tense for another sound, ears operating at 20% once more, trying to find a breath or a movement.
Then he was saved the trouble, for he heard, with great clarity, the single word from Kiyoshi's mouth. Then Ren realized, could Nik have made that commotion? Was he hurt? Turning his ears down (in case Nik decided to scream or something unfavorable), Ren moved against the shadows and moonlight in the direction of the voice, looking behind a few empty shelves. "Senpai? Are you alright?" Was his soft reply, automatically whispering in the library due to force of habit.
Turning around a corner, however, Ren soon found his "friend", sprawled out against the ground, a toppled chair in his midst. What was he doing? Ren questioned thoughtfully, but immediately went into action, "Senpai!" he gasped and ran down the aisle on his stilt-like legs, flinging himself onto his knees next to Nikolai, practically pouncing on top of him. "Don't move. Did you break anything?" Ren asked, however, with more calmness than most would have. His blue eyes looked about Nik in the most uncensored of manners, but found it was too dark at his current vision to see much in the shadows.
"What are you doing in here?" Ren asked, probably the same question that Nikolai had in mind, at the same time taking off his glasses and hanging them in the sharp nook of his slick black vest. His eyes glowed a soft lavender purple, now beginning to see Nikolai in the sharpest of clarity and light, however a slight glow encompassed him, the small bit of light reflecting off of his pure skin. Practically magical, and so beautiful.
On the ground and in a less than vertical position, Ren found the uselessness of his outfit, which resembled something of a Gothic Renaissance Chip 'n Dale dancer. The black pants cut into his hips as he bent over Nikolai, the vest constraining his worried breath and shoulders. Against his neck, the black ribbon seemed to pull taunt in his craning position. Or, perhaps, it was only the sight of Nikolai beneath him which made his hips weak, breath shorten, and blood rush. His blond hair fell from his shoulder like a pale gold waterfall, lightly lapping against Nikolai as he moved.
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Post by Kiyoshi Nikolai on Dec 29, 2007 17:06:38 GMT -5
"Senpai? Are you alright?" There was a whispered reply almost as soon as he had been about to voice the question again. Although god knew why he’d even bother asking the intruder, or rather, greeting the intruder in such a way. It wasn’t like he was going to get a formal introduction in return. But he guessed it was because he was feeling utterly stupid and vulnerable thanks to his clumsy act and his new position on the floor. If he was forced to defend himself, he’d have a lovely time of trying to do so from the ground, what with his legs tangled in the wooden folds of that chair and all. Those words floated lightly about the room almost in an echo that stretched on even though they had been spoken so softly and more than likely in the direction of the front doors. He almost thought he had heard wrong, however, because there was only one person whom called him ‘his master, his teacher, his superior, his elder.’ Senpai. And what would the bloody devil being doing here? Nikolai wasn’t given much time to think on the words really and whom might be behind them further, before the intruder himself stepped into being a few inches away in his aisle, beautifully ocean eyes crossing into a form of worriment as the figure noted his position on the floor. And that flowing field of golden locks just had to fall about the man’s shoulders in such a way that it took the boy’s breath away. “S-Sai-chan?,” he hadn’t meant to speak aloud or even for his words to hold such a relief in them, relief that his intruder wasn’t someone whom was going to eat him alive. Or well, he hoped this intruder wouldn’t. There was still a great possibility that he would. Distrust still ran heavily against the surface of his friendship with this University student as any relationship with him usually held indefinitely. But after the open conversation he’d somewhat shared through their screen names with this man, not so long ago even, anger didn’t have enough fuel to burn anymore at the instant action Saito displayed next. An action that was ringing off his alarms of someone getting too close to him. Close enough to touch.
"Senpai!" the words echoing a lot easier than the earlier whisper, that worry hidden in his eyes coming to the forefront as their bodies suddenly became a lot closer to each other in a matter of mere seconds, Nik not even realizing that the man had moved; Saito having knelt down beside him, over him, with his immense height and keen eyes checking out every square inch of him without touch. And although Nik was grateful that the man displayed a bit of control, those proximity alarms were still going off within him and he was finding that his breath hand suddenly hitched up a few notches to be in time with his pounding heartbeat. Damn. Was he still scared? He noted the man’s clothing, obviously dressed for the formal with that old, Renaissance-look about the suit he had on. The long black pants punctuated his slender visage perfectly and that vest was strung tight across his lovely chest, the tie about his neck bringing out the soft color of his pale flesh that it embraced and that volume of his wondrous waves of blonde hair seemed almost to float about them, almost touching him. Actually, it was touching him, a whisper of a brush that almost fell down to the youth’s neck and yet strayed right past the high tilt of his cheeks, tickling the skin there. It sent a warm, burn to his chest that almost tried to fill his speeding heart, at the feeling and yet he was cursing every minute of it inwardly despite his body’s response.
"Don't move. Did you break anything?" he was ordered, the words light and unhurried compared to the more worrisome ones of before but Nik wasn’t really paying attention to the words anymore, but to the hands of that beautiful man. "What are you doing in here?" Those hands that were now reaching to remove those glasses, setting them aside to hang from his vest as the ocean hue he liked so much was turned to a glowing purple, almost violet. The glow lit up his position all the more and yet he wasn’t caring so much as he was about to freak out at the oddity those eyes were exhibiting. Of course, it was the logical side of Nik that forced him to take another breath and then told him to recall what had been said between them during that IM chat. He had sensitivity powers. Surely that meant sight as well and just like Nikolai’s powers had side effects, one of them about the same as he was seeing here, it wasn’t altogether out of the question for Sai-chan to have them too. So the man was looking at him, looking at him hard. Well wasn’t that just lovely. He ordered his body to calm, unable to dote on the anger that he had wanted to come at such a close proximity, but annoyance wasn’t beneath him. And definitely not sarcasm. Never.
“The only thing that needs to move, is you then. So back off. I’m fine, you just …..” scared me. Those were not words ever to be spoken aloud though unless you were being sarcastic. Not for someone as prideful as him, anyway. So he tried again: “…surprised me is all. I was trying to get a freakin’ book,” he explained, eyes straying for a moment off of that imposing figure to look up toward the bookshelf he’d been hanging off of. The book he’d been trying to get was at the very top shelf, dangling slightly out now since he’d already had his slender hands around the bind. The need to explain his clumsy act beat through every intense heartbeat of his as he tried to continually reinforce the idea inwardly, that he hadn’t been scared. Okay. Well, fuck, that didn’t work at all. He was smart enough to understand when lying to himself was a completely useless act.
“And I should be asking you that, Sai-chan. What’s a University Student doing here at a High School formal? Because you’re certainly dressed like that’s where you came from. Working, were you?” His cold scrutiny was thrown at the older boy as he tried to calm himself, a hand going to his forehead to address the ache that was coming behind his eyes . Hazel-gray eyes that were dying to have his glasses so he could hide behind them. “Why are you in the library? Were you following me?” There should have been an accusation in his voice now but he didn’t have enough bravado to enforce the effort of such a thing. Because really, he could guess the answer and as annoying as it was. It was more or less expected now.
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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 29, 2007 20:08:47 GMT -5
To Ren's eyes it appeared that no real damage was done. No blood... no oddly extending bones, and the complimentary sarcasm was a good sign. But, would Nik even say anything if he was hurt? Probably not. Ren would keep a close eye on him to make sure. But, "surprised" him, eh? Yeah; Ren knew it too. Fear was an innate part of human nature - everyone could be afraid. For such a common emotion, every body tried to hide it; every one wanted to be brave. But there was something honorable in fear. The preservation of life. Apathy could often be mistaken for fearlessness. Suicidal for bravery. "A book?" Ren questioned, quite laughably. Reading in a place like this.
The order placed by Nikolai rang on deaf ears. In fact, within his magnification of vision, Ren was quite hypmotized by Nikolai. Once the worry drained away came the realization that they were in fact, dangerously close. Against the reflection of the light particles, Nikolai's alabaster skin was softly glowing in an ethereal nature; almost like a ghost. It contrasted sharply with his jet-black hair, reflecting like saturated oil. And all at the same time, near enough to smell his sweet scent, close enough to feel the cool warmth of his body. The aura of fear and fast-beating hearts was like an erotic aphrodisiac. So tangible.
But the mention of "work" was what made Ren lay off, pulling himself off of Nikolai to lie down on the library carpet directly beside him. Almost like a dog being submissive to its master, Ren flatted himself on the floor with his stomach and hips to the air. In this vulnerability Ren could be quite comfortable next to Nikolai, who most likely, wouldn't do a thing. Honestly, Ren owed Karu-kun. Without his misunderstanding of what an "escort" truly was, Ren would most likely be working some place else, being vulnerable to someone with the intent of raping him. But now he was here, with Nik, and safe. The question went silently unanswered.
"Yes," Ren replied to the last question given to him in Nikolai's little, annoyance-induced questionaire. Well, he was being quite honest. Nikolai didn't even need to ask, it seemed. Unfortunately Ren was quite aware of his new addiction, and the slight stalking which was beginning to take place. He even asked about the kid during a bondage session with Nik's math teacher. Kind of... creepy really. Especially with Ren's previous experience with what was happening. Unfortunately, it felt like watching a train wreck. Everything moving in slow motion with no ability to stop it. Ren was merely on for the ride; every painstaking moment. He felt overwhelmingly guilty.
"Would you like me to get that book for you?" Ren asked with a light smile, from his flattened position he could see the one Nik was trying to get right above him. These shelves were obnoxiously high - for a high school and all. But most kids didn't even read these days. There was no reason to really care if the books were too high... Unless, of course, you had students like Ren and Nikolai. Ren wondered silently if Nikolai loved to read, or if it was just like drawing to him. A "worthless" habit. The wonderment read across Ren's face as he stared up at Nikolai from the ground, his hair exposing his full, agular face.
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Post by Kiyoshi Nikolai on Dec 29, 2007 21:30:28 GMT -5
"A book?" Sai-chan asked him, in an altogether amused tone that just spoke of laughter. Just what he needed tonight. To be laughed at. And by the likes of him no less. Nik grit his teeth on impulse, trying desperately to stake down his emotions and to keep himself under control, to restore his beloved calm that never betrayed his emotions to other‘s eyes. Control, such a simple word and such an easy thing to do, he’d been told. Although, control seemed to be the one thing he was always striving to achieve, an impossible goal that was just getting further and further away from him while he stood frozen in one of his ‘nightmares.‘ No matter how many doors he opened, no matter how better he seemed to get, it only seemed to lead into a far deeper maze of obstacles and problems taking him even farther away from his true destination. But it seemed he could put a tap on his spreading anxiety for now, he wasn’t sensing much danger from the man in front of him. In fact, he hadn’t been paying as much attention in the dim light of before, but now with the added glow of the older man’s eyes: Sai-chan looked slightly pale, subdued even, exhausted. Almost like he’d seen a ghost or something.
He might have shown a bit of compassion at this if the man wasn‘t still laying almost on top of him. If those unholy beams weren‘t still piercing him with their glow, seeing right through him. Because he could only control his flow of emotions for so long before they’d have him panicking. Darn. Hadn’t he chosen the library because nothing ever happened in them? Geez, now he was going to have to avoid it for his quiet time too, unless he wanted to repeatedly watch this ’nightmare’ over and over again. For he was certain they were leaving enough of an emotional stain on this memory for the past to play itself to him if he so chose to observe it. Hell knew, he’d been seeing the lad in his art class every day since their last encounter, the emotional stain he’d left behind when he’d panicked had been just enough for the nightmare to appeal to his abilities, for it to replay for him. A lot of their other encounter wasn’t all that bad and he wished he knew how to ‘pause’ the damn thing in certain moments. Moments when this assistant teacher had seemed fairly serene, compassionate, as if he might truly have cared what Nikolai had thought. But the end result of that ‘nightmare’ was always the same.
Nik fairly sighed when Sai-chan did back off though, his companion‘s body laying down flat beside him on the rosary carpeting that made up this side of the floor, he spread his body out as if not having a care in the world and that earlier peek of exhaustion he‘d sensed seemed almost at home now. “It’s not funny you ass, that hurt.” Nikolai finally voiced after he was sure the man wasn’t going to make another move on him. Deftly he kicked the chair off of his sprawled legs and sat up in a more comfortable position. Which actually seemed like a bad idea because now he was looking down on Sai-chan and the man was really, really beautiful. “And do you mind? Tone down the beams, will you? Before my eyes end up needing a stronger prescription than they already do.” Although, he really shouldn’t have been so hypocritical to the man’s eyes, especially so when that odd ache behind his orbs threatened of a burning glow of his own. Although, he was fairly sure he’d be able to calm down enough now, what with the new distance. Everything that clicked with Nikolai seemed to do so under emotions. His side effects to his abilities were no different. They’d show themselves even when he wasn’t using his ability, they’d show under extreme storms of emotion. The eyes almost always coming first. He’d guess that everything worked this way because his power did to. For if he was to ‘see’ anything, the dreaded memory had to leave what he called a ‘stain’ of emotion behind. Something for his power to home in on. His mother told him that if he was able to enhance his ability, he should be able to ‘see’ all memories. Because doesn’t every memory of yours hold some type of emotion? If he only could concentrate on that one thing; but this was all guessing and hadn’t at all helped in the few years he actually had worked on controlling the sight. Now he just worked on keeping it hidden, keeping it away.
"Yes," He dropped his line of thought at this brief answer from Sai-chan, an arched eyebrow being his instant motion. “Was that a ‘yes’ to you coming from the formal? To you stalking me or to you working right now?” he questioned, pushing himself suddenly to his feet and ruffling a hand over his wrinkled cloth. His left side ached a bit, sour from the landing on the floor, but he’d taken most of his weight like that while he covered his head, so he’d expect it to be a bit bruised. He decided it better if he stopped looking at that seductive sight, it was too tempting for him to understand.
"Would you like me to get that book for you?" He heard the man voice below him. The book? Nik moved his eyes up, grateful for something to concentrate his eyes on, that book still dangling like it had. Well, now he’d be too distracted to actually concentrate hard enough in order to read it. But he still needed that book for his studies, he’d been avoiding getting it because of its odd location. Slowly he set the wooden chair back up in place, lifting his sturdy feet over the top and finally positioning himself as he had been before: atop the chair and reaching for that stubborn thing. “I’ll get it myself, thanks,” was his snaky reply. No, he wouldn’t need help. Especially if he had to ask for it. A slender hand made its way around the volume’s bind, Nikolai dangerously standing on the tips of his toes.
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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 29, 2007 22:12:26 GMT -5
"I can only laugh to keep from crying, I assure you," Ren chuckled, his prostrate position fueling his muted hysteria. Most likely a mixture of an atheletic high and the excitement of being around Nikolai so privately, and so provacatively. His statement was mixed with a bit of sarcasm, but possibly true. The fact that Nikolai had nearly killed himself for a book was ghastly. What if he had landed on his neck? Then he would be off to the netherworld with ole Marley. With a weak smile on his face, Ren watched Nikolai untangle himself and sit up with the cat-like quality accustomed to the boy. Ren remarked at how he really must've "surprised" Nik for him to not land on his feet. The boy was quite graceful form what Ren noted during classes.
For having very little interest in art professionally, Ren loved to help teach the class. He bonded mysteriously well with his younger peers, and shared their similar frustration with the idiot teacher. For kicks, Ren would often make playful passes at Akiyama-sensei to get a rise out of the class, especially if he was being particularily horrible at teaching that day. But often Ren's secret focus went to Nikolai, who often was in his own little world. Of course, Ren scarcely singled Nikolai out during class. He had respect for the kid. After class, however, was a whole different story...
"Do I have to? You look absolutely gorgeous..." Ren sighed, his off-handed flirt almost expected of him. Of course, as much as Ren didn't want to stop looking at Nikolai in such a light, his eyes adjusted back to their normal azul color, and Nikolai back into a faint blur to be corrected by the application of the rimless glasses. It would be better this way, to conserve energy. Especially since his precise sight may have to come of use later on, and turning it up to an easy 100% would blind him even in this simple moonlight. In the shadows, however, Nikolai now looked to be a mysterious beauty rather than a blatant angel.
"It's a yes to all those things; however the nature of my "work" tonight is quite different than what it usually is... Karu-kun really is an idiot, isn't he?" Ren answered casually, however the mention of Karu made him remember something with a jolt - the girl that Nik had stolen from him to dance with. Who was she? Ren would ask him later, as Nikolai was currently trying to kill himself once more, standing on the chair to retreive the book again. Of course Ren sat up and watched the predicament. Couldn't Nik just have said "yes, thanks"? Ren could've merely stood on the chair and bent over a little bit to reach the book.
"You're either very determined, or very stupid, Senpai," Ren remarked smartly, getting off of the floor quite easily. From standing on the chair, Nikolai's slender, elegant waist and hips were directly at Ren's eye level, causing him to secretly stare from Nik's efforts to what was in front of him, and back again. Ren knew to some extent that Nikolai didn't like to be touched, often avoiding people at all costs. However, being the kind of person who touched people often, it only came natural to Ren to place his hands firmly on Nikolai's beautifully boney hips in order to protect his friend from toppling over again. And also being the type of person who was accustomed to ignoring personal space, Ren may not have realized how impersonal his grasp really was.
Ren was really quite delighted to have Nikolai in his hands, nonetheless. Unfortunately, Ren doubted that Nikolai would feel the same. He was so young... and so belligerant. The kid was obviously self-reliant, and closed to visitors. God, why was this all so familiar? Ren stared at his hands against Nikolai as a single word rang through his head, guilty, guilty, guilty. The power of positive thinking wouldn't save him now. He was the Freddy to Nikolai's Ren. But, was Ren really "in love" with Nikolai? Was it even possible? These feelings of affection could easily be mistaken for simple lust, when the definition of "love" was something so easily bought.
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Post by Kiyoshi Nikolai on Dec 29, 2007 23:19:03 GMT -5
"I can only laugh to keep from crying, I assure you," he told him, although he was chuckling as he said it from his fatal position on the ground, which begged to question what was so funny now? But Nik ignored the words, however more so curious as to why his companion was sounding so forlorn tonight. Why he sounded so, what was it? Sad? “I’d much prefer the former, Sai-chan. At least you’d be honest then and I wouldn’t be feeling like a complete idiot.” There went that blunt honesty again, that honesty that kept him emotionally separated, the honesty that often led to hostile reactions in return because people never liked to face the truth. He didn’t either, really. So maybe that’s why he tried to remain so honest in every other attempt. And why was it that his words often held so much emotion when around this guy, he could scarcely put on the ‘polite’ act unless he wasn’t looking the guy in the face, as he wasn’t now.
Yes, he’d seen a bit more of this man since he’d last had that encounter, alone with him. Many times, in fact, inside of the walls of that same art room. He’d been able to remain his coy self then, but that was because of the distance it felt to be in that room. A room so full of people and yet so utterly empty. The blonde had remained utterly professional since that incident. Well, as professional as you could call a class clown whom made as many ‘hinting’ remarks about random things just to keep the classroom in a bustling flow of happiness. He hadn’t bothered speaking much, as usual, unless he was addressed by the teacher or a fellow classmate: in which he always replied blunt, polite and honestly to. He dare say he was already restarting his old reputation in this place, just as his sister had obviously regained her place too. It shouldn’t have been too surprising, in fact, that Nikolai hadn’t shown for that lunch-date of his with Sai-chan. Those apparent ‘sweets’ the other had stayed up all night long making. Rather, it hadn’t been his fault he hadn’t shown though. His sister had been sick that day and hadn’t gotten out of bed. He’d refused to leave her side even though he wouldn’t step foot in her room, deciding to ‘guard’ it from a distance that had him emotionally separated from the art that adorned her room walls.
"Do I have to? You look absolutely gorgeous…” Sai-chan remarked on the almost-request about turning down his power, the voice little more than a flirting whine that was ignored altogether by him. Dimly, Nikolai found himself wondering if the man’s sight was so strong and Nik supplied him with some of his own energy -would he be able to see the ‘nightmares’ that plagued him, too? Surely his power was something along the same lines of having a sensitivity to, well, emotions in his case and not so much his actual sense. He wasn’t sure why the thought came up but he knew he wouldn’t wish his curse on anyone so there was no point in stating the question aloud, even if it had always been a secret desire for another besides himself to be able to see the things he saw. But post cognition was a rarity, it seemed. A rarity his stupid self just had to have.
"It's a yes to all those things; however the nature of my "work" tonight is quite different than what it usually is... Karu-kun really is an idiot, isn't he?" was his answer to the ‘yes’ question of before, the likes of which almost had him pausing when he set himself up on the chair for the second time that night. He’d heard that nickname once already tonight, by those shallow females, he hadn’t at all expected the name to form from Sai-chan’s mouth though. In fact, now that he thought about it, this wasn’t the only time he’d heard the name from his companion. Hadn’t he used it during their IM chat? When Nikolai had spoken about his grandfather’s goals for him? “Karu-kun, is it? As in Hikaru the Fourth? That stocky chap is out there dancing with my sister as we speak. She wouldn’t cope with my warning her to stay away from that rich bastard and it’s not like I can threaten him. I had to be all polite and shit because that’s the proper way you speak to someone as high in authority as he is.” His words held an air emotionless-ness that was downright eerie although the anger wasn’t hidden from his face as it was from his calm words. Thankfully he was glaring at the bookcases though, his slim eyebrows tilted down into a frown. He doubted the man was still dancing with her though. His type didn’t target one for too long before he finished what he’d wanted and moved on to the newest victim. In the far recesses of his mind, he wondered if he’d ever met the boy before. He knew he’d met his father, by chance when he’d been venturing with his own father on some type of business. But the Hikaru’s didn’t seem the type to have father-son relationships that would have had the lad tagging alongside his father. No doubt the lad rarely saw his father, instead riddled with his father’s servant to relay stupid messages. He could almost relate with Hikaru, if he didn’t hate the boy so much.
When he chanced a glance over his shoulder at Sai-chan though, he almost smirked at him, his anger leaving instantly. For despite the words, the University student had removed himself of his powers and returned his spectacles atop his nose, those blue eyes looking up at him in a frown. “Is your only side effect those glowing eyes?” he found himself asking, truly wanting to hear the answer although he forced himself again to stop looking at the angelic figure. "You're either very determined, or very stupid, Senpai," was his answer, well, an answer to something but not of what he’d asked. His slim hand pulled the volume downward, annoyed that the stubborn thing seemed stuck on something and just as he’d been about to berate his companion for calling him that stupid nickname again, he’d felt the touch that had accompanied his hips. His hands had freed the book and he’d been about to move his hand to bring the thing down to his chest but the touch froze him still, his panic of before returning tenfold almost at the same time as his eyes began to burn.
Standing now, placing himself off of his toes so he could be of better balance, his movements were jerky and full of different emotions as he slapped the gentle, impersonal hands off of his slim form and settled himself safely onto the ground once again. The book was left forgotten in his hands as he turned to finally face that tall man again, hiding behind his mask as best he could. “Thank you, sensei.” he managed to mumble, although his eyes burned an anger that was starting to hue his color to that glowing red again. He moved gracefully passed the man’s figure back to the booth he had first sat himself down in, setting the book down but realizing the chair was still standing over there by the shelf. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have some studying to do and I’d gather that you might want to get back to your job.” Which wasn't altogether true. The book was for an individual study, an interest of his, nothing to do with schoolwork save for it gave him an idea for his upcoming paper. This was said as a 'goodbye' quite obviously, because anytime someone got close that was the only result for them.
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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 30, 2007 0:06:48 GMT -5
Ren had spent all night in his kitchen, merely for Nikolai's enjoyment, making little Japanese confectionaries collectively known as "wagashi". Time that Ren could've spent sleeping, as he rarely got much time for that. School was all day, and a short nap was expected in the evening after an early dinner and homework. Then he would head off "to work" and get home for a nother few hours, never being able to fully catch up on his exhaustion. The act for Nikolai was stemmed purely from generousity and kindness, staying up until the early reaches of dawn to painstakingly create each of the intricate pieces. The sugar kept him hyped up most of the time, along with the prospect of seeing Nikolai enjoy the sweetness.
But much to Ren's surprise, he was severely disappointed. In order to be at the high school's lunch time, Ren had to skip his grueling English class (which making up for would take up most of his potential sleeping time that night). But it was okay - because he would see Kiyoshi-sama! Then going through the high school and standing stupidly in the doorway of the cafeteria with a small parcel, looking over every table - even asking some kids if they had seen him. All of which with the same answer. But Ren waited the entire time, wondering if Nikolai was merely caught up in a drawing or something. Nothing. Going back to the university Ren felt like a fool, and for the first time, was slightly angry with Nik.
Unfortunately for Nikolai's wishes, Ren didn't cry as easily as one would think he would. For being seemingly expressive and even naive, he was tough shit. No doubt Ren viewed crying as a healthy release of anxiety, but there were other ways to go about it. Laughing was a far better alternative, which inspired positive outlooks. Of course, perhaps Ren was being a bit of a hypocrite by not succumbing to sobs. Nothing seemed to merit it anymore. Nothing ever seemed "that bad" as what could be. Or maybe he was just fooling himself.
Sister? Ren breathed a mysterious sigh of relief. He severely doubted that Nikolai would have a girlfriend, but in any case, Ren never ceased to be amazed... But it was merely his sister. Well, in that case, she was very beautiful. The Kiyoshi's must've had some astounding genetics. But something rang very somber in the mention of the sister. Nikolai mentioned something in his messages about "saving" her. A dark cloud hung in Ren's mind over the two of them... Something tragic, perhaps. It was obvious that Nikolai didn't care to elaborate. He didn't want to face the past again.
"Careful now, to many people you're also a "rich bastard", Ren cautioned effortlessly, "Karu-kun's just trying to survive himself... Aren't we all?" Ren commented sagely, affectionate on the terms of Hikaru with some breif knowledge on the boy's situation. Trying to survive oneself. That's what they seemed to have in common, it would seem. Karu's personal demons of perfection... Ren's optimism in light of his situations... and Nikolai's powers. The same leaky boat on different stormy seas. When did it all end?
Ren nodded noiselessly in response to the question of his "side-effects". In fact, many people called him "lucky". He had little differences from a normal person, and his powers were so mundane and "easy" to control. Some people just didn't get it. Always blaming the horse and never the rider. Ren wished for once people would look at him and comment on his excellent ability to control and train his powers rather than how "easy" his powers were. In fact, his powers were quite difficult to contain. It's like grasping for a ledge that you have no idea is there. Headaches, nasea, passing out, et cetera. The hardest part is finding that foot-hold, that essential knowledge. After that, anything is possible.
Ren could almost feel the muscles in Nikolai tense sharply almost as soon as he laid hands on him. Each hand was recoiled sharply with the small slap laid to each one, as if Nikolai was flicking a disgusting bug from him. Standing helplessly, Ren watched Nikolai get down and grasp his book, looking so frightfully sharp. From the outside, Nikolai appeared to be his cool, volcanic self, but there was something different... His eyes glowered a soft red hue which Ren had seen before that one fateful day in the art room... right after he had touched Nik. Was there a correllation here? Nik turned away before Ren could look any further.
"You're welcome, but..." Ren didn't want to let that thanks go unnoticed as he followed Nikolai, who seated himself immediately and hinted that Ren should leave in the same manner. Something about Ren and tables. He always had to sit on them obnoxiously. "What about your "side-effects"? Post-cognition. How does it work?" Ren questioned, seated on the table and practically hovering over Nikolai. This was, in fact, spurred from the fear that perhaps Nikolai got visions from touching people, and Ren was quite sure that Nikolai would not enjoy the visions Ren had tied to his past.
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Post by Kiyoshi Nikolai on Dec 30, 2007 1:04:47 GMT -5
"Careful now, to many people you're also a "rich bastard.” Karu-kun's just trying to survive himself... Aren't we all?" Sai-chan answered him, right before he’d placed his dark boots atop the chair. That answer was fairly unexpected though, he didn’t think anyone would take up for the boy. But then, Hikaru was apparently his companion’s employer tonight. However that worked. And even so, he detected a bit of respect in those words, too bad he didn’t care enough to let his next reply sound any less accusing than the last. “But others at least try not to put innocents through the same torture they’ve faced. Hikaru has an intense reputation for the opposite, however. His way of ‘surviving’ is disgusting and dishonorable. I’d kill myself if I were like him. No one can be that two faced without losing themselves in the process. I suppose it doesn‘t matter really, if he burns Ayame tonight then I‘ll do the deed for him.” And he meant those cold words, wholeheartedly. As much as he was sometimes thought of as a spoiled, rich kid, he wasn’t one to wait for everyone to do things for him. He had little patience for others and Nik equally had no care for what they felt either. He knew he wouldn’t wish his life on them, yes, and that he’d not purposely try to destroy others. But he would defend himself. He would not be a useless, little weakling again. He wouldn’t hide behind his status like Hikaru did.
He chose to hide behind something entirely different now. And he didn’t enjoy the fact that Sai-chan was trying to peak his way around the edges of it. And all of it with that light, gentle touch of his. Too gentle, too innocent, too impersonal, too close.
Nikolai’s eyes were burning all the brighter as his anger grew, a crimson spew of glowing insanity, as he realized he wasn’t going to be left alone and that beautiful man slipped himself familiarly up on top of the table Nik had been about to sit down at. Would have sat down at, if his chair hadn’t still been over there by the stupid bookcase. His glowing hues registered the chair location for a moment before they burned all the more at his real target of rage. He should have really decked the man instead, maybe he’d take that hint. Maybe pain was the only way to escape further pain. His spiraling dark thoughts were forced to a stop though as he stepped as far away from the table as he could, up against the window’s cool glass. He allowed himself to calm down, trying to encourage the fact that the man hadn’t really meant anything by the touch. In fact, he probably wouldn’t have done it at all if Nikolai would just explain to him why he despised it so. But he’d never told a soul that. Not even to a person of his family. And he didn’t plan on explaining himself now either. But those encouraging thoughts were what dialed down his eyes again, forcing the little control he had into making them return to that dull gray.
"You're welcome, but..." He heard Sai-chan speaking even as he closed his eyes to concentrate on removing the red glowing. Some people thought the red glow made him all the more devilish in appearance, it was certain that his sister feared it. Sometimes it was the easiest way to scare people off. But he wouldn’t try it here because he knew it wouldn’t work. Instead, he grabbed hold of his chair beside the book casing and placed it back where it belonged, taking a seat, despite himself, without looking at his companion so he could finish diffusing the glow, that man practically looming over him now. That seemed to happen a lot, now that he thought about it. Sai-chan looming over him and he hiding his face.
But he was all about controlling his emotions and he couldn’t do it when in this man’s presence, for whatever reason. And he knew his eyes were the gateway to his soul, his sister had been able to tell things about him on numerous occasions just from watching them. Nikolai supposed that was why he hid behind his glasses in public. But tonight he was without thanks to his darling sister, yet again.
"What about your "side-effects"? Post-cognition. How does it work?" the question had been expected at some point, he supposed. And Sai-chan had already told him his, to an extent, so it would only be fair for him to do the same. Taking in a deep breath though, Nik prepared to give the ‘nicer’ version of the curse’s definition and his part in it. He would never bare his full soul here but he would play it right and give as much as he got for as long as he could stand it.
Because, quite obviously, he was stuck with Sai-chan.
“I suppose after our conversation before that you’ve already looked it up? The definition you’d have learned is rather vague though, something along the lines of: being able to get ‘visions’ of past and future events. But I’m no seer and I don’t see things of the future, thank god. The past, is quite enough. I’m told the ability is rare and serves differently for each person, so I guess it’ll be near impossible for anyone to ever see what I see. But as a child, I’d pray for it. Wish with all of my heart that someone would see it to. Just so they’d stop calling me a lair. Lai-lai.” He hadn’t meant for that little confession to be a part of the explanation but it had already spilled now, along with the hysterical laughter that came at uttering his childhood nickname. Lai-lai “My power deals with emotional memories and isn’t subject just to any one thing or place but anywhere I’m in the vicinity of. Any past event, whether a year, a century, or a few minutes old, that has left a stain of some powerful emotion, I can bring to the service and play the role of observing it. I have but to force the emotion on myself and concentrate on it alone.” He wasn’t going to explain his side effects, what were the usual ‘nightmares’ he was faced with recalling. He wasn’t going to tell him how sickening it was to feel everything the people in his ‘nightmares’ felt. He wasn’t going to voice how frustrating it was for them to appear when he hadn’t wanted them to, to come into being every time he felt something. He wasn’t going to explain that he had no control over the depth of perception the ’nightmares’ came to him. No, Nik didn’t need to go that far in the explanation. He was keeping it impersonal, without as much emotion as possible save for that little burst of laughter at his old nickname and the next little example he had in mind to share.
“For example: I was able to track my sister’s whereabouts the night she was kidnapped. Hours after she’d been abducted I was able to watch the scene happen as the man shoved her into his car and then I was able to keep that vision playing so that I could follow where the car led to. Usually I can’t keep the concentration up for that long but I guess the situation caused for more emotion than I’d have liked to show.” He didn’t say anything further, Nik didn’t believe it was necessary and so he reached one of his pale hands forward and opened his book up to the first pages. Moonlight from the window behind him kept the printed words in sharp relief for him to decipher.
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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 30, 2007 1:56:40 GMT -5
Ren, seated delicately atop the table, was quite waried by Nikolai's burning eyes. Wild, and red hot with anger it seemed... possibly even hatred? Ren's brows furrowed defensively. What had he done to be given such a nasty look? Obviously something had ticked Nikolai off... Was it really his touch? Surely some people would've found it a little too "close" for comfort, but not to the extent of looking as if they wanted to kill him for it. Something was up. This was more emotion than Ren had ever seen from Nikolai. What did his touch do to strike such a nerve with the usually cool and dispassionate Kiyoshi?
Patience. Ren watched solemnly as Nikolai removed himself, going to the window, battling something out. However frightening, Ren preferred the brilliant radiance to the usual lackluster gray any day. Against the backdrop of the brilliant moonlight, and now feeling a slight level of danger with Nikolai exposed in the openness of the library, Ren stiffened and wished to go back to aisle where he could lie so freely. The moments of trust seemed to ebb and flow, but it appeared as if Nikolai was getting a handle on himself. Ren couldn't take his piercing eyes off of him.
After saying his words, Ren watched Nikolai disapear for a moment, bringing up a chair. As Nik took a seat, Ren began to relax, but still intense in wonderment that Nikolai was going to give him an answer and not run out the door. God, Ren could only imagine what Nikolai would look like with a smile. Just the tiniest bit of happiness... It was enough to make Ren's heart ache just by looking at the poor kid. Ren pulled his impossibly long legs up onto the table, cradling one knee and letting the other cross in front - a position comfortable for listening. His eyes bent wholy on Nikolai's avoiding face.
Ren listened to the first part of his explanation intently, however, affirming the notion that he had looked it up after their conversation. And, as Nikolai said, not much was to be said, and if it was, it was rather "one size fits all". Powers always came with different variations, however. But Nikolai's words depressed Ren. The rarity of his power was true; Nikolai would be very isolated from others. Even some teachers would have difficulty with him. Ren's heart wrenched as Nikolai spoke so emotionlessly about his childhood - only able to imagine what it would be like seeing things as a child and having people treat you as crazy. But then, the sudden laughter was what floored Ren, sending a horrible chill running up his spine and neck. Laughing? It was the first time Ren had heard him laugh; but it was a terrible laughter. Frightening.
The rest of the explanation went on, in the setting it felt as if Nikolai was telling a ghost story, not his personal power. Ren considered it a moment, an "emotional stain" being brought to life from the past at any moment. He considered his apartment (because he'd loved to invite over Nikolai some time) and what would cause an "emotional stain" there. The realization made it seem more realistic to Ren. Of course, Ren never brought clients to his house, but there was a lot of Freddy baggage and the incident. Ren finally took his eyes away from Nikolai, wanting to say "I'm sorry", but knowing that it wouldn't make a lick of difference.
Ren half expected Nikolai to quit there, but was amazed at his "for example". Looking back to Nikolai for any slice of emotion, he found little. The story pieced together some more things about his sister... So she'd been abducted? What a truly wretched circumstance; Nikolai must've been so sick with worry. But the little story made Ren realize how important Nikolai's powers could be. Even though he had assured him over instant message that the cons outweighed the pros. Ren knew, however, that even a person like Nikolai would probably bear a lifetime of pain to save the person he loved. Afterwards, a silence existed between the two. Ren was able to soak and contemplate.
Nikolai was being so... open. Ren felt suddenly very selfish.
"It's a beautiful gift you have, Nik," Ren spoke gravely, at last, to the reading statue which was Nikolai. He had called Nik by his real name on the grounds that this was no laughing matter. Ren could understand seriousness, but his words seemed to contradict everything Nikolai had put out there. It was merely Ren being optimistic. The more good things, he believed, a person heard about themselves, the more likely they were to start believing in them, and they would come true.
"I'll always be there for you, Nik," Ren offered, bending past his knee to be closer to where Nik was, trying to pry into him some more, "Beautiful boy; what have you been through? God, let me show you that you are not alone," Ren pleaded in a whisper, rising on the table to be on his hands and knees, his hypnotizing eyes searching in Nikolai. Extending ever so close, Ren's pale, soft hand gently caressed Nikolai's cheek in a touch that was meant to comfort and reassure. And then, it seemed almost magically, that Ren's lips brushed the top of Nikolai's forehead in a comforting kiss.
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Post by Kiyoshi Nikolai on Dec 30, 2007 4:20:42 GMT -5
He’d felt nothing as he told the man what he’d wanted to hear, he made sure of it. There was no need for any emotion to come to the surface right now. None. There was no need for him to recall any of the specifics of his curse just like there was no reason at all to try and drag out the memory of what had occurred almost a year ago. What he’d been able to spare his sister of that night but not himself. Never himself. But then, why was he still hiding his face if he wasn’t feeling anything? As much as he wished that be the case. It wasn’t. You always felt something, you just ‘hid’ it from everyone else as he was doing now. If anyone knew the depth of emotions, then it would be him. They were always there, left unspoken on most occasions -wild almost-tangible things that could take control over you in an instant. And emotions were twisted voids, for only the wielder knew what he was feeling and rarely was anyone else able to understand the depth of their emotions. You could be Hikaru, showing a reasonable depth of kindness, politeness on the surface and yet you were swimming with an intense hole of something far darker behind all of that façade. Speaking of the past really did bring the horrid things back into a larger focus than he’d have liked and the same deal went for his powers.
It had been far worse as a child, his post cognition powers. Of course, at that point Nik didn’t know he was a demon, he didn’t know what the hell was going on. He didn’t understand why he was the only one who could see these things. He’d point and he’d scream and he’d purposely describe what he saw and yet his only response was always that he was sick. He was a sick, lying, rich kid whom was spoiled and trying to seek more attention. He’d first seen them in shadowed forms before he‘d been allowed to truly roam outside the walls of his house, great big blobs of shadows that sucked every emotion from him and brought it to the surface. Pain, amusement, despair, happiness, anger, fear, joy, sincerity, hopelessness, sickness, the emotions went on for hours. He briefly recalled the words of his kindergarten teacher, whom had tried to sympathize with him first because she had thought it was merely a young child afraid of the new world they had been pushed into.
They’re just your fears, sweetie. All you have to do is face them -Tell them you’re not afraid to face the nightmare. And they’ll go away. She’d promised him everything would be alright, she’d given him her word that that was all it would take. But it wasn’t. It hadn’t worked. And the ‘nightmares’ were only beginning.
Next he saw them as tangible forms, whole beings of any gender with characteristic looks and feelings like you or me. He couldn’t tell them anymore from the people he was speaking with to the people teaching him. They looked the same. They were completely real, weren’t they? Yet no one could still see them but him, and no one ever would see them but him. And he’d end up paying witness to the most worst and best things the world had to offer. To every feeling and emotion that people had bubbled up inside. That was how he eventually told the things apart from the real people around him. The feelings. Nikolai first had thought the sickening emotions were just his own though. He had no one to tell him what they were though so he supposed it was only inevitable for him to think of it this way. What was this undeniable urge to rip somebody’s throat out? What was this undeniable despair that had him silently pacing on the top of the roof, tears falling from his dull eyes? What was this sudden feeling to run with all of his might, go somewhere else no matter where that place may be? What was this oddity of feeling that had him cowering at every loud sound, every movement of flesh, every word being spoken to him? He hadn’t known.
He’d been so young then.
Nikolai did recall though the harsh arrogance of his father every time he had uttered the things he’d seen when he was younger. And looking back on it, his father had to of known what it had meant. His mother, Hime, hadn’t of course. She hadn’t known that her husband was a demon and that by design, all of her children had inherited the gene. She hadn’t known all the way up until his older brother had perished by his cursed gene. By his wings. He’d bled to death by his own design in terror and insanity. Little Aya had grown hers years after and by then they’d been able to get a handle on things, so the girl had been spared what his brother, Vander, had not. But still, those days farther back, he despised his father now for what he had kept hidden. Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference given his rare ability, but he despised him all the same. At least young Vander would have survived had the secret not been kept in such a way.
He’d kept his abilities under a short leash for so long though before that incident. He’d been able to ignore them with the coming of his third birthday when he’d been declared unfit for real school after he’d told off another teacher when they’d called him a liar and started his studies at home. Being home schooled had been much better for him. As long as he wasn’t outside he didn’t have to go to places that held such awful memories. He supposed this isolation of himself and his gift is what started his change. Nik stayed inside at all hours, he rarely talked and when he did it was with malice or sarcasm and he ate his meals alone. His only saving grace was his little sister, the one whom believed him, the one who would crawl into bed beside him when he told her he could see them through the window, the one who would sing him into calm, and the only one whom could get him to laugh. She played the role of the bigger sibling for a time and he adored her for it.
Well, then his brother had died and their father had left due to his mother finding out that he was a demon. She probably, seriously wouldn’t have cared what he was though. But that secret was what killed one of her children and so she couldn’t handle it in the end. And poor Hime, she had despaired and feared for Aya next, not recalling a bit of Nik’s odd ‘lies’ as a child. She’d seen that her daughter looked every bit as golden and angelic as both Vander’s had and didn’t even take one thought to the darkly handsome boy that had inherited her looks, that had already showed signs of a demonic gene. But then, it wasn’t her fault. He didn’t tell them of the ‘nightmares’ anymore at this point. If they didn’t believe him at three what made him think they’d believe him at ten or twelve or fourteen? He never told them about his sight again, even when he forced himself to go outside because Aya had wanted to play basketball and she needed another player, because their mother didn’t have the time to watch them so much anymore and they were made to go back to public school. He didn’t tell her that he could see them in the house now, he didn’t even tell Aya of the screaming arguments he observed, of their brother going terror-induced insane and cutting his newly forming wings into a bloody heap. He remained silent, void of emotion as possibly as he could. Because it was when he felt something that they always became more vivid, more real, more out of control.
It was that kidnapping though that had decided it all. Right when he had finally started to feel a bit of normalcy again, right when he had let down his guard and assumed a bit of control over the beastly things that haunted his sight. His sister wasn’t outside the school gate waiting for him as was usual, that evening. And he’d purposely pushed into as many ‘nightmares’ around that gate as he could. Until he found his. And then he’d proceeded to concentrate on that ‘nightmare’ only, following the family mini-van that had his sister stored in the back of it until he caught up with the culprit at a gas station, refueling. He’d tried to get his sister out, he would have called for help earlier had he not feared no one would believe him. He would have called for help then too.
But he’d gotten caught.
And so he’d bargained. He’d bargained over what would have probably destroyed his angelic little sister. He’d bargained and got what he wanted, sending Ayame away with a mix of a lie that the man had only grabbed her so suddenly because he was Nikolai’s friend, because he had wanted to speak with him and that he was now going to have a bit of a sleep over at the monster’s house. His sister hadn’t known why he was crying. She’d simply asked when he’d made a friend. And when the message was relayed to his mother, the next day a second message being delivered: a ransom, he could wholly expect what his sister must have asked then. That full year he had been gone, locked away with that man while his mother tried to fight for him: it had been his own personal hell.
The police she’d called never found him, they never found the culprit even, to this day the man was still awaiting a punishment tenfold in return for the horrors Nikolai had faced. But they’d never found him even. He’d just burst through his mother’s front doors one evening: broken, bleeding, deranged and half starved. Nik had refused treatment, had blown off the cops every time he was sent in to report the kidnapping. And he purposely pissed off any shrink he was forced to see until they eventually gave up on him. As everyone usually did. He explained the ‘nightmares’ though and his mother understood what they meant him to be.
So now he was at Hidamari.
"It's a beautiful gift you have, Nik," the use of his first name is what brought him back into focus. Damn but he was always lost in thought. He didn’t register the words for another few seconds and by then Sai-chan had said something else too. "I'll always be there for you, Nik," the promise leaving that beautiful man’s mouth, he almost found himself wanting to believe but then he noted the older youth was moving. Moving closer to him. "Beautiful boy; what have you been through? God, let me show you that you are not alone," And that whispered prayer, it had him frozen in shock long before the tentative touch to his cheek, the touch that brought his gaze back up and forced him to look straight into those azule eyes. Eyes holding a despaired sympathy bordering on compassion, eyes moving even closer to him as the lips just under them suddenly trailed down his forehead. “Don’t,” seemed to be the only strangled word he could get out at first, although he closed his eyes and forced himself to welcome the feeling, to make his body unstiffen and for his hands to stop clenching that stupid text like it was his only life source. He knew the touch was meant as a reassurance and he equally guessed that touching must be the only way this man knew how to really express himself, so he forced himself not to grow angry. Yet he couldn‘t top the distaste that arose, he couldn‘t keep himself from thinking the feel of flesh against flesh was anything less than disgusting. But he held back the anger. “Arigato. But, just.........don’t.” He lowered his eyes again then, fairly annoyed with the state he was in, with how pathetic he'd turned out.
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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 30, 2007 19:58:00 GMT -5
Don't? Ren pulled away after Nikolai's small thanks and general caution against him. Don't. It seemed to be quite true about what they say about men and that word, because Ren frankly didn't understand. He took it slightly personally, considering that Nikolai felt as if he was about to shatter during the extent. Perhaps Nik just didn't trust him enough to be "intimate", especially with all the playful passes thrown in the teen's way. Ren considered that he probably thought of Ren as a promiscuous wolf or something of the sort. But, it wasn't true. Ren was quite in awe with respect of Nikolai; however, unknowing to Ren, he wasn't exactly the cause of the problem, and was merely putting the mysterious blame to himself.
Obeying Nikolai's personal space and wishes, Ren sat up on the table, a safe distance away. Against the moonlight he seemed so pale and beautiful, but sincerely forlorn and somber. So used to the moonlight. To Ren, there was nothing magical left, merely coldness and emptiness. Night. Ren was a creature of the night; a piano's nocturne song; an apparition. He loved sunlight so much better. Sunlight held warmth and safety; happiness and playfulness. Unfortunate night somehow became devoted to the sick things in Ren's life. Ren could remember when he was a younger child remarking on how he would do anything to stay up all night. Now Ren would do anything to play outside.
"Gomen nasai," Ren finally managed to utter, looking away from Nikolai and out into the moonlight. Ren didn't feel like pressing the matter any more tonight. Nikolai was doing so well being open; Ren didn't want to spoil it. However, the thought of what to talk about next came at a great length of silence. Ren wondered if offering a bit about himself would be selfish, or comforting. But what to say? There was certainly a damper put on the situation. Ren methodically pulled at his silky blonde hair, a habit when in thought.
"I have your treats at my apartment. However, I won't be able to skip class again," Ren finally ventured to say, putting down his hair and leaned backwards, supported by his hands; he always looked so easily provocative. "I could swing by tomorrow and give them to you. Maybe we can go see a movie as well..." Ren's voice meandered, thinking about the weekend, however hectic it was. Business always picked up on the weekeneds, "However I'm working overtime that night... It'll have to be around noon-time or earlier..." Ren trailed off, thinking aloud.
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Post by Kiyoshi Nikolai on Dec 30, 2007 21:03:07 GMT -5
Since he was still very well trapped in seeing bits of the past, it wasn’t much of a surprise his sister’s words came to him. Although, really, she hadn’t at all been speaking to him, but to his mother. He’d just stumbled upon the ‘nightmare’ of her feelings later on that night. Nik believed she’d been trying to describe him to Hime, since he’d refused their company or touch just like he had anyone else.
He’s not broken. He’s destroyed. There aren’t any pieces you can fix with him. There’s nothing. He is who he is now. And we’ll have to deal with it like that. He’d agreed. Despite her reassured words to their mother though, she hadn’t meant them. She still tried. She still wished for him to be saved somehow. His dancing with her tonight, with the touch she hadn’t felt in years restored briefly, she probably thought there was even more hope now. But he’d only done that to warn her, to help her.
Could he do that again? Could he allow touch on a regular basis if it made her so happy?
With his gray eyes downcast, he began to look through that book he’d gotten again, ignoring that subject for the time being. Off hand though, he noted the whisper of cloth and the sudden movement of the companion in front of him as the lovely male did as Nikolai asked him to. He didn’t need to sit up to know that Sai-chan was at a safe distance from him, still sitting atop the table in his silly little way. He heard the whispered apology though and that was what had him looking up again, acknowledging the words with a shake of his head even though he knew the man hadn’t done anything wrong to apologize in the first place. But it seemed like Sai-chan needed some form of forgiveness at that moment so Nik allowed him the reassurance.
"I have your treats at my apartment. However, I won't be able to skip class again," the University student finally mentioned, breaking the odd silence that they’d been stuck with after Nik’s very personal, impersonal explanation. Nikolai nodded his head to show he was listening but remained his stoic self, eyes returning to scanning those old, worn pages, wondering dimly why it was that the library never restocked on more modern books. "I could swing by tomorrow and give them to you. Maybe we can go see a movie as well..." Little things was all he could manage right now, the haunts of his past still remaining in plain sight for him now and if he broke through the slim film that separated them, he knew he’d be lost. So he still kept quiet although knowing he’d have to speak sometime or else this open male would get the wrong idea. "However I'm working overtime that night... It'll have to be around noon-time or earlier..."
“That’s fine. Don’t strain yourself.” was his reply without thought. The book he was currently flipping the pages of was about the demon psyche as ironic as it would appear at this very moment. His sister had been arguing lately that he’d never get that ‘control’ back if kept skipping his classes. The classes on how to master them. They were going to have a paper soon on the study in front of him, he’d been told. And if he was to jump into class now, he might want to prepare for it. The diagrams set before him though that he found himself now staring at, meant little to nothing in his eyes and frustratingly he slapped the binds closed again. Reality returned to him with little effort. “I’d apologize for not showing that day, but I don’t see the need to when it wasn’t my fault. Ayame was sick so I didn’t go to school. The polite thing to do would have been to call you, however, I don’t have your number so that option was closed as well.” He returned at the mention of those treats he’d been promised.
On a whim of thought though he came up with a different idea than what Sai-chan was setting cautiously before him. “Actually, I was more or less dropped off here with Aya, tonight. If you live nearby, we could walk there so you wouldn’t have to make the extra trip. I realize you’re working now, so you could just give us the address and we’d wait for you to get home. Although, I’ll warn you that I despise staying out extremely late and I might even have to send Aya ahead of me home, just to be safe.” Now that was odd. It was already too late out now, why would he consent to staying out longer just for this man’s treats? The ‘nightmares’ would be swamping by then. But, he guessed he was feeling a bit guilty now, what with blowing the guy off for so long.
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Post by Saito Ren on Dec 30, 2007 21:31:17 GMT -5
Talking to Nikolai sometimes felt as though Ren was speaking to a stone wall. Even the color scheme worked. It made Ren wonder if that book was even all that engrossing, or if he was just being avoidant. Ren considered the latter as being true; Nikolai was very a very serious boy. It was sad. He was only a teenager. Being a teenager meant being wild, having parties, exploring love and each other. Not being cooped up alone in a library reading a book. Ren secretly swore to himself that he would help Nikolai as much as he possibly could, even if it meant sacrificing everything.
"It's nothing to me," Ren replied to Nikolai's slightly less than enthusiastic concern for his "straining". In fact, Ren was a scheduling mastermind. He had volumes of black books at home with invoices, dates, and detailed notes on the customer for further satisfaction. He was, in fact, too good of a prostitute for being so set on leaving the industry as soon as possible. It was a plausible fear, to be stuck as a prostitute forever, but that's why he was going to college. Ren was going to be a great lawyer, writer, doctor, person someday. Once he made up his mind on what exactly he wanted...
Ren was so happy when he won over Nikolai's attention from that stupid book. With the closing of the covers and a return to conversation, Ren felt better about the return to normality. And in fact, Ren felt quite foolish about being angry at Nikolai after his explanation. He sure was loyal to his sister; Ren admired that. And it was true that Nikolai had no way to call him. Ren, however, would fix that problem immediately. Taking up the book previously beloning to Nik, Ren carelessly tore a page from the middle of it, jumping off the table to grab a pen off of the librarian's desk. After scribbling down the number and his address, Ren brought the page back and handed it to Nikolai, "So we will never be out of touch," Ren smiled softly.
The fact also, that Nikolai was willing to come to Ren's house was almost too much to take. How kind that was! And that Nikolai was being so accepting instead of rebuking was excellent. However, with Nikolai's powers still fresh on Ren's mind, he doubted that Nik would enjoy coming over, as much as Ren wanted him to. And then the question of stupid Karu-kun was another thing... But most likely the twerp wouldn't notice his absence during the dance, just when he wanted a ride home. However, Ren had vowed to be with Nikolai; even if at the expense of his career... Perhaps something could be worked out.
"I merely have to drive Karu-kun home once the dance is over... but, no doubt he will find some after party to hitch a ride to, eh? My apartment is only a few blocks away. I'd be happy to drive you both in Karu-kun's limo... he won't be needing it until later," Ren offered, a little too eagerly. He loved having company over to his cozy little apartment for some strange reason; possibly because he kept it impossibly neat and had nobody to compliment it. However, something tugged at his decision, which made him sigh.
"Perhaps you can stay out in the hall, though... So as to, avoid a nightmare. Unless you think you can control it, in which case I'd love to make you and Ayame some of my special tea," Ren offered considerately, making sure to take Nikolai's powers into careful consideration. Again, Ren never invited clients over, but he was worried about a different powerful incident which took place. Ren didn't want to make poor Nikolai suffer any more than he had to.
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